Today news broke that two teachers in Louisiana were arrested for allegedly having a threesome with a 16 year old boy. While the local authorities seem to be taking the high road regarding the boy and the crimes committed, there have been some people who don't seem to think the child in question was a victim at all. Its a common reaction that I've seen many times before. Being common doesn't make it correct.
Writing for the Daily Banter, Chez Pazienza was one of those who doesn't think that the 16 year old should be called a victim. It's an understandable, although outmoded way of thinking, that continues to frame cases like this one. The boy said it was consensual, he was bragging to friends, "he's a god". All familiar refrains, that really don't hold up under scrutiny.
Sex crimes, and especially crimes committed against children are not about hot sexy time with a teacher or older woman. Sex crimes and crimes against children are about power and control. In the Louisiana teacher case, the young man may have thought he was in control and he was consenting, but this is how predators work.
It may seem harsh to label Shelley Dufresne and Rachel Respess predators, but teachers who seek out sex with students, even teen aged students are exactly that. Using a position of trust and authority IS predatory and it is wrong.
In 2013, Montana Judge G. Todd Baugh came under fire, and rightfully so, for saying a 14 year old girl was older than her chronological age and "as much in control" of the situation as the teacher who was convicted of raping her. That girl later committed suicide.
Judge Baugh's comments were seen as cruel and insensitive to the victim, and they were. The same can be said of comments regarding the young man in the Louisiana case. He may be convinced that he's the greatest stud that walks the earth, but the fact is he was manipulated into having sex with those teachers just as surely as the girl in Montana.
I've written numerous times in the past about the percentages of boys who are victims of sexual assault. One in ten boys report sexual assault. The numbers are lower than that of girls (1 in 4) because of the stigma of reporting. The sad truth is that the stigma isn't always shame of being abused, the stigma is not realizing that you were a victim in the first place.
One case that always comes back to haunt me, involved a teacher and child. The teacher was well respected, the child was 16 and turned 17 during the course of the case. The teacher seduced the child and had sexual contact with the child in his hot tub. The child was struggling with his sexuality and the teacher took full advantage of that. The child was convinced that it was consensual.
Despite a confession, the teacher was not prosecuted. The child in question later committed suicide as a young adult.
I'm not saying that the boy in Louisiana is going to commit suicide. I understand that a 16 or 17 year old boy has crazy sexual desires, hell all men do no matter what their age. The back slapping and locker room high fiving that a lot of people are doing, however, is ill informed and childish.
It may seem awesome to a guy in his 40's who once fantasized about his teachers, in some respects I understand why so many people think this kid is awesome, hell I had crushes on teachers. Hot for Teacher was a ANTHEM for kids my age.
Just because many men have had teacher fantasies as children doesn't make what happened in Louisiana right. Just because the boy in Louisiana thinks the sex was consensual doesn't make him "a god", it makes him naive and horny. Ultimately, like thousands of children a year, it makes him a victim.
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