A little while ago I wrote a post supporting my friend Jessica AKA @vdaze who had suffered mental and emotional abuse by a man who is well known in internet circles. You can read it here. I'll refer to the man in question as Fantasy Hairball™ or FH for short.
In the weeks since I wrote this post, I've noticed a disturbing trend on Twitter and other places with regards to the definition of "victim". Questions like does talking about abuse in public seem like whining or payback? Is defending the victim, 'piling on' the abuser(FH)? Shouldn't this all be kept private?
I've worked in social work since 1988. For the last 18 years I have been a child abuse investigator. In that capacity I have seen first hand the abuse of children. I've also seen hundreds of cases of Domestic Battery and other abuses of women. I'd like to take time to describe my observations and share some things to clear up the questions people may have.
First off, a victim of abuse is someone who suffers physical, sexual, emotional trauma at the hands of the abuser. Physical and sexual trauma are self explanatory. The problem many people have is emotional trauma. How does one judge what is just arguing and what is emotional abuse?
People like Fantasy Hairball™ are so good at charming their way into women's lives that the woman doesn't know that the abuser is bad news until well into a relationship. Using this case to illustrate FH may pick a fight with Jessica, but she chalks it up to normally butting of heads. This may have gone on for a while.
When FH turned the corner to abuse it was when he started blaming Jessica for his feelings of anger or hurt.
"You make me so crazy", "I'm not normally like this but I love you so much, I get crazy with : anger, jealousy, fear of losing you"
Guilt is a powerful tool, so is preying on someone's pity. "Please feel sorry for me", "I'm in a bad place and you've made it worse." What was sickening in the aftermath of Jessica's disclosures was that Fantasy Hairball™ used these same guilt trips on other women and his friends to get them to view him as an emotionally unstable wreck who might be suicidal and whose mom was experiencing trauma because of the drama.
This is classic abuser behavior. "Poor me" behavior is used as a tactic to get the victim back in their lives, keep them in their lives, or convince their friends that the abuser is not a bad guy, just misunderstood.
The other questions all sort of dove tail together. My first job as an investigator is to get the victim to start talking. Some times this is done with words, sometimes they write down what happened. Sometimes we draw pictures. Frankly if Twitter or Facebook could be used in an interview to get a victim talking, I'd use it in a heartbeat. So no, talking about it in public with friends is not a bad thing. In fact its the right thing to do.
Calling out an abuser for what he is should be commended. People who keep things private, who don't air their dirty laundry, who are told to "buck up" and deal with it enable the abuser to continue behaving abusively with other people. For those who may be friends with FH, he may never have acted badly with you, but that doesn't mean it didn't happen with others.
Fantasy Hairball™ is a text book case of an abusive personality. He charmed his way into several women's lives and when he was called out, he turned on the women and accused their friends of coordinating attacks and ruining his rep. "Poor me" anyone?
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Friday, September 7, 2012
Why I fight the War on Women: Its the ABUSE Stupid!
As most of you know, I'm a child abuse investigator by profession. I love my job. I'm also pretty fucking good it, or so I've been told. This post isn't specifically about child abuse, but it is about a facet of my job that is important to protecting children
The facet to which I am referring is protecting women from abuse. I've been been vocal, and profane in my defense of women and their rights. Exhibits A, B, and C.
Domestic abuse occurs in many forms. It can be physical, sexual, or psychological. Recently a friend of mine from the great coffee klatsch that is twitter, Jessica AKA @Vdaze wrote and talked about her abuse by a man on the internet. He was insidious and he played it like a pro.
Men who abuse women are amazingly similar to child sexual predators. I am NOT conflating child sexual predators with the abusers of women, I'm just saying their methods are similar. The way abusers wend their way into peoples lives is fascinating. They're charming. They seem friendly. They build seemingly strong bonds.
When the trust has been gained, they pounce. Abusers of women scream at them, hit them, blame them. Turn every argument around so that the woman feels like it's her fault. Fortunately for my friend Jessica, she was not physically abused. Had she let the relationship progress, there's no telling what may have happened.
When I was young in this job, I used to blame the women victims abuse almost as much as I blamed the abusers. I didn't get that there is a cycle of abuse, and women often can't shake it.
Where am I going with all this? I'm trying to make the point that the War on Women isn't just being run by the GOP. Women all over this country are belittled, beaten down and just plain beaten on a daily basis. The person who treated Jessica so horribly, is a progressive liberal.
Until we treat women with the respect and dignity that they deserve, we will never be a "great" nation. Until we put our collective foot down about misogyny, verbal abuse and domestic abuse of women, we cannot call ourselves a "great" nation. Until we place the needs of women and by extension children above our own selfish pursuits, we cannot call ourselves a "great" nation.
One final thought, I know that there are occasions in which women are abusive aggressors. The number is so small statistically, it barely merits notice.
We have a long way to go. Let's start by treating our ladyfolk with some respect. I'm a progressive, I believe women are every bit as capable as and equal to men. Also as I pointed out earlier on the twitter. Strong women are sexy as hell.
The facet to which I am referring is protecting women from abuse. I've been been vocal, and profane in my defense of women and their rights. Exhibits A, B, and C.
Domestic abuse occurs in many forms. It can be physical, sexual, or psychological. Recently a friend of mine from the great coffee klatsch that is twitter, Jessica AKA @Vdaze wrote and talked about her abuse by a man on the internet. He was insidious and he played it like a pro.
Men who abuse women are amazingly similar to child sexual predators. I am NOT conflating child sexual predators with the abusers of women, I'm just saying their methods are similar. The way abusers wend their way into peoples lives is fascinating. They're charming. They seem friendly. They build seemingly strong bonds.
When the trust has been gained, they pounce. Abusers of women scream at them, hit them, blame them. Turn every argument around so that the woman feels like it's her fault. Fortunately for my friend Jessica, she was not physically abused. Had she let the relationship progress, there's no telling what may have happened.
When I was young in this job, I used to blame the women victims abuse almost as much as I blamed the abusers. I didn't get that there is a cycle of abuse, and women often can't shake it.
Where am I going with all this? I'm trying to make the point that the War on Women isn't just being run by the GOP. Women all over this country are belittled, beaten down and just plain beaten on a daily basis. The person who treated Jessica so horribly, is a progressive liberal.
Until we treat women with the respect and dignity that they deserve, we will never be a "great" nation. Until we put our collective foot down about misogyny, verbal abuse and domestic abuse of women, we cannot call ourselves a "great" nation. Until we place the needs of women and by extension children above our own selfish pursuits, we cannot call ourselves a "great" nation.
One final thought, I know that there are occasions in which women are abusive aggressors. The number is so small statistically, it barely merits notice.
We have a long way to go. Let's start by treating our ladyfolk with some respect. I'm a progressive, I believe women are every bit as capable as and equal to men. Also as I pointed out earlier on the twitter. Strong women are sexy as hell.
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Boardroom Mittz
A while ago, I promised my friend Imani Gandy that I would come up with parody song about Mitt Romney, so here it is.
Boardroom Mittz sung to the tune of Ballroom Blitz by Sweet.
Are you ready?
Oh, Mitt’s been getting so hard
Thinking of the things he‘ll do to you, aha
He dreams of being POTUS
Cause he’s run out of businesses to screw
Oh, He sees Ann’s got his back
As a matter of fact, her eyes are as red as a sun
She’s the girl in the corner, let no one ignore her
Cause she thinks ‘you people’ are dumb
Oh yeah, the party was fighting
Everybody was frightening
False promises are soothing
And they all started grooving
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
And Ann at Mitt’s back said
Time to attack and he turned into a Boardroom Mittz
And Paul Ryan in the corner said
Barack Not gonna warn ya, he’s turning into Boardroom Mittz
Boardroom Mittz
Boardroom Mittz
Boardroom Mittz
Boardroom Mittz
He’s speaking out on something,
Saying nothing is all he’ll ever do
He’ll quietly take you over
When you appear for work there's nothing left to do
Now Ann at his back
Is ready to crack as she raises her hands to the sky
She’s the dressage horse owner, the taxman can’t corner
She could kill you with a wink of her eye
Oh yeah, he runs on electric
His positions eclectic
His lies he’s believing
'Cause the truth is so fleeting
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
And the Ann at his back said
Time to attack and he turned into Boardroom Mittz
And Paul Ryan in the corner said
Barack not gonna warn ya, he’ll turn into Boardroom Mittz
Boardroom Mittz
Oh yeah, the party was fighting
Everybody was frightening
False promises are soothing
And they all started grooving
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
And Ann at his back said
Time to attack and he turned into Boardroom Mittz
And Paul Ryan in the corner said
Barack not gonna warn ya, he’ll turn into Boardroom Mittz
Boardroom Mittz
Boardroom Mittz
Boardroom Mittz
Boardroom Mittz
Boardroom Mittz
Ooh, it's, it's Boardroom Mittz
It's, it's Boardroom Mittz
It's, it's Boardroom Mittz
Yeah, it's Boardroom Mittz
You're welcome.
Boardroom Mittz sung to the tune of Ballroom Blitz by Sweet.
Are you ready?
Oh, Mitt’s been getting so hard
Thinking of the things he‘ll do to you, aha
He dreams of being POTUS
Cause he’s run out of businesses to screw
Oh, He sees Ann’s got his back
As a matter of fact, her eyes are as red as a sun
She’s the girl in the corner, let no one ignore her
Cause she thinks ‘you people’ are dumb
Oh yeah, the party was fighting
Everybody was frightening
False promises are soothing
And they all started grooving
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
And Ann at Mitt’s back said
Time to attack and he turned into a Boardroom Mittz
And Paul Ryan in the corner said
Barack Not gonna warn ya, he’s turning into Boardroom Mittz
Boardroom Mittz
Boardroom Mittz
Boardroom Mittz
Boardroom Mittz
He’s speaking out on something,
Saying nothing is all he’ll ever do
He’ll quietly take you over
When you appear for work there's nothing left to do
Now Ann at his back
Is ready to crack as she raises her hands to the sky
She’s the dressage horse owner, the taxman can’t corner
She could kill you with a wink of her eye
Oh yeah, he runs on electric
His positions eclectic
His lies he’s believing
'Cause the truth is so fleeting
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
And the Ann at his back said
Time to attack and he turned into Boardroom Mittz
And Paul Ryan in the corner said
Barack not gonna warn ya, he’ll turn into Boardroom Mittz
Boardroom Mittz
Oh yeah, the party was fighting
Everybody was frightening
False promises are soothing
And they all started grooving
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
And Ann at his back said
Time to attack and he turned into Boardroom Mittz
And Paul Ryan in the corner said
Barack not gonna warn ya, he’ll turn into Boardroom Mittz
Boardroom Mittz
Boardroom Mittz
Boardroom Mittz
Boardroom Mittz
Boardroom Mittz
Ooh, it's, it's Boardroom Mittz
It's, it's Boardroom Mittz
It's, it's Boardroom Mittz
Yeah, it's Boardroom Mittz
You're welcome.
Monday, August 27, 2012
Why I Fight the War on Women Part 11 Billionity and 1
It seems that a week doesn't go by that somebody doesn't say some stupid fucking shit about women and their right to choose. This week's winner is Tom Smith, GOP candidate for Senator in the great state of Pennsylvania. (Side note, what the fuck is up with Pennsylvania? Between this fucktard and Penn State, I swear these people need to be carpet bombed. Aside from the fact that the Angry Black Lady, Imani Gandy comes from Philly, I'd say there isn't one damned sane person from the state.)
Anyway back to this weeks douchecanoe, Tom Smith had this to say at the Pennsylvania Press Club when "condemning" Todd Akin's comments. First he said Akin was wrong about the "legitimate" rape comment but he agreed with no abortion in any instance, including instances of rape and incest. It gets better:
MARK SCOLFORO, ASSOCIATED PRESS: How would you tell a daughter or a granddaughter who, God forbid, would be the victim of a rape, to keep the child against her own will? Do you have a way to explain that?
SMITH: I lived something similar to that with my own family. She chose life, and I commend her for that. She knew my views. But, fortunately for me, I didn’t have to.. she chose they way I thought. No don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t rape.
SCOLFORO: Similar how?
SMITH: Uh, having a baby out of wedlock.
SCOLFORO: That’s similar to rape?
SMITH: No, no, no, but… put yourself in a father’s situation, yes. It is similar. But, back to the original, I’m pro-life, period.
So glad that's all cleared up. What a dumb fucking thing to say. Since I'm a father of two daughters, I can put myself in "a father's position' for this one.
First off, if my girls have sex and get pregnant out of wedlock I won't bat an eye. My wife and I have raised and will continue to raise them to make good choices. If they make a choice we don't agree with, that doesn't make it a bad choice, it makes it their choice. We will love and respect them and will support them no matter how their lives turn out.
Secondly, if they get pregnant and choose an abortion for any reason, we'll support that choice. It's their choice, that's what these Teabillie idiots completely want to do away with. They can't stand the fact that women are equal to men and should be treated as such in all ways.
They can't stand the fact that women won't simply look pretty and shut up. They really can't stand that the black guy in the Oval Office believes that women are equal. In their minds President Obama is an amalgamation of 'where da white wimmen at?' and 'mind if we dance wif yo dates?" They hate him that badly. Correction, they hate his skin color that badly.
These stupid neanderthal motherfuckers like Akin and Smith don't represent the fringe of the GOP. Banning abortion is in their goddamned Party Platform. Don't let the jobs stuff blind you. They want to take away women's choice once and for all.
Finally my 'father's position' if my girls get raped? I'm gonna go with a mashup of Liam Neeson's characters in Taken and The Grey, I'll call it "I'm Gonna Find That Fucker and Kill Him" .
Anyway back to this weeks douchecanoe, Tom Smith had this to say at the Pennsylvania Press Club when "condemning" Todd Akin's comments. First he said Akin was wrong about the "legitimate" rape comment but he agreed with no abortion in any instance, including instances of rape and incest. It gets better:
MARK SCOLFORO, ASSOCIATED PRESS: How would you tell a daughter or a granddaughter who, God forbid, would be the victim of a rape, to keep the child against her own will? Do you have a way to explain that?
SMITH: I lived something similar to that with my own family. She chose life, and I commend her for that. She knew my views. But, fortunately for me, I didn’t have to.. she chose they way I thought. No don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t rape.
SCOLFORO: Similar how?
SMITH: Uh, having a baby out of wedlock.
SCOLFORO: That’s similar to rape?
SMITH: No, no, no, but… put yourself in a father’s situation, yes. It is similar. But, back to the original, I’m pro-life, period.
So glad that's all cleared up. What a dumb fucking thing to say. Since I'm a father of two daughters, I can put myself in "a father's position' for this one.
First off, if my girls have sex and get pregnant out of wedlock I won't bat an eye. My wife and I have raised and will continue to raise them to make good choices. If they make a choice we don't agree with, that doesn't make it a bad choice, it makes it their choice. We will love and respect them and will support them no matter how their lives turn out.
Secondly, if they get pregnant and choose an abortion for any reason, we'll support that choice. It's their choice, that's what these Teabillie idiots completely want to do away with. They can't stand the fact that women are equal to men and should be treated as such in all ways.
They can't stand the fact that women won't simply look pretty and shut up. They really can't stand that the black guy in the Oval Office believes that women are equal. In their minds President Obama is an amalgamation of 'where da white wimmen at?' and 'mind if we dance wif yo dates?" They hate him that badly. Correction, they hate his skin color that badly.
These stupid neanderthal motherfuckers like Akin and Smith don't represent the fringe of the GOP. Banning abortion is in their goddamned Party Platform. Don't let the jobs stuff blind you. They want to take away women's choice once and for all.
Finally my 'father's position' if my girls get raped? I'm gonna go with a mashup of Liam Neeson's characters in Taken and The Grey, I'll call it "I'm Gonna Find That Fucker and Kill Him" .
Sunday, August 19, 2012
Why I Fight the War on Women part 11 billionity
A while back I posted a bit about why I fight the War on Women that is being waged by the GOP and the Teabillie idiots. I wrote about here and here. I love my daughters and my wife and this shit has got to stop.
Today in what can be called the DUMBEST FUCKING THING EVER UTTERED by a politician, Representative Todd Akin (R-Doucherocket Teabag) of Missouri had this to say about abortion in the case of rape:
“First of all, from what I understand from doctors [pregnancy from rape] is really rare,” Akin told KTVI-TV in an interview posted Sunday. “If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.” Akin said that even in the worst-case scenario — when the supposed natural protections against unwanted pregnancy fail — abortion should still not be a legal option for the rape victim. “Let’s assume that maybe that didn’t work, or something,” Akin said. “I think there should be some punishment, but the punishment ought to be on the rapist and not attacking the child.”
Let that sink in for one fucking second before you remember that newly minted Vice Presidential Candidate Paul Ryan believes essentially the same thing. In fact Ryan goes even further because he sponsored the Personhood Amendment in the house. He also helped author the "forcible rape" language that was later dropped in the Planned Parenthood funding flap. Ryan believes in no abortion. Period. Not in the case of rape, incest, health of the mother, non-viable fetus, NOT IN ONE FUCKING INSTANCE does Paul Ryan, Vice Presidential candidate of a major political party believe that abortion should occur. As if to add insult to rape, he also believes in no birth control.
The GOP has a long tradition of believing that government should mind its own business with regards to what individuals do. Unfortunately this has never been the case if that individual is a woman. The assault on women's choice, women's pay and even women's fucking healthcare has become overwhelming since 2010.
I for one will not stand idly by while people like Representative Akin and Vice Presidential Candidate Ryan lead the assault on the basic freedoms that should be enjoyed by all women.
Fortunately we all have "a way to shut the whole thing (in this case the GOP) down" We vote for Democrats from dog catcher to the goddamned White House. My wife and daughters mean everything to me and they deserve no less.
Today in what can be called the DUMBEST FUCKING THING EVER UTTERED by a politician, Representative Todd Akin (R-Doucherocket Teabag) of Missouri had this to say about abortion in the case of rape:
“First of all, from what I understand from doctors [pregnancy from rape] is really rare,” Akin told KTVI-TV in an interview posted Sunday. “If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.” Akin said that even in the worst-case scenario — when the supposed natural protections against unwanted pregnancy fail — abortion should still not be a legal option for the rape victim. “Let’s assume that maybe that didn’t work, or something,” Akin said. “I think there should be some punishment, but the punishment ought to be on the rapist and not attacking the child.”
Let that sink in for one fucking second before you remember that newly minted Vice Presidential Candidate Paul Ryan believes essentially the same thing. In fact Ryan goes even further because he sponsored the Personhood Amendment in the house. He also helped author the "forcible rape" language that was later dropped in the Planned Parenthood funding flap. Ryan believes in no abortion. Period. Not in the case of rape, incest, health of the mother, non-viable fetus, NOT IN ONE FUCKING INSTANCE does Paul Ryan, Vice Presidential candidate of a major political party believe that abortion should occur. As if to add insult to rape, he also believes in no birth control.
The GOP has a long tradition of believing that government should mind its own business with regards to what individuals do. Unfortunately this has never been the case if that individual is a woman. The assault on women's choice, women's pay and even women's fucking healthcare has become overwhelming since 2010.
I for one will not stand idly by while people like Representative Akin and Vice Presidential Candidate Ryan lead the assault on the basic freedoms that should be enjoyed by all women.
Fortunately we all have "a way to shut the whole thing (in this case the GOP) down" We vote for Democrats from dog catcher to the goddamned White House. My wife and daughters mean everything to me and they deserve no less.
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Why I'm Fighting
I want to take a few minutes to tell you about two amazing girls. On Friday, one starts Junior High and one starts Kindergarten. One of them is a 12 year old wild child and one of them is a 5 year old that I think plans on taking over the world a la Pinky and the Brain. These two girls are my daughters Bailee and Rowan. Call my a braggart, or a blatherskite, if you will, but also call me a proud father.
Bailee doesn't begin to know what a terrific kid she is. She's outgoing, funny and smart. She's a scatter brain sometimes and she's an artiste. To my ever loving chagrin, the piles of clothes in her room never quite get picked up, but she really 'tries'. She's a budding activist as evidenced by this:
She believes so strongly in combating the War on Women, that she asked for a Team Uterati Tee Shirt and Bitchfork necklace to support the cause. I probably don't tell her enough that she inspires me but she does.
Then there's this one:
Rowan doesn't know everything... yet. She wanted a necklace because her sister has one, when we told her what it meant, she looked at me straight faced and said "Daddy, you always say, nobody can touch your 'pagina.' "
She's insanely smart and a budding smart ass. Sample conversation after buying her a strawberry lemonade from the place with the arches, as I was singing in the car: Rowan "daddy stop singing, you're interrupting me" Me: "what are you talking about?" Rowan: "you're interrupting my time with the strawberry lemonade" I died.
One reason I'm telling you all about them is because the start of Kindergarten and Junior High marks a milestone in our family and that's worth bragging about.
The other reason, and to me the most important is that these two girls and my beautiful wife Nicole are the people I love the most and because I do, I will fight the War on Women with everything I've got. Today the House GOP tried AGAIN to expand anti-abortion legislation. The Congress elected in 2010 to provide jobs jobs jobs has jobbed all of those who were duped into voting for them.
Lawsuits against the Arizona abortion law which outlaws abortion after the 20th week have been struck down. Lawsuits filed under specious circumstances like Hercules are going forward regarding birth control. Apparently the fact that the birth control issue was argued and resolved before I was born has been lost on a certain segment of our population.
It is imperative that we as progressives support the push back against the GOP's War on Women. Support causes like TeamUterati. Support progressive candidates. Support anyone and everyone who wants to see women continue to be treated as the should be: complete equals in every sense.
As I recently told friends on Twitter, I want my girls to tell their kids about this War on Women and laugh about the antiquated notion that women are less then men. I pretty sure they will, because well, they're both amazing girls.
Bailee doesn't begin to know what a terrific kid she is. She's outgoing, funny and smart. She's a scatter brain sometimes and she's an artiste. To my ever loving chagrin, the piles of clothes in her room never quite get picked up, but she really 'tries'. She's a budding activist as evidenced by this:
She believes so strongly in combating the War on Women, that she asked for a Team Uterati Tee Shirt and Bitchfork necklace to support the cause. I probably don't tell her enough that she inspires me but she does.
Then there's this one:
Rowan doesn't know everything... yet. She wanted a necklace because her sister has one, when we told her what it meant, she looked at me straight faced and said "Daddy, you always say, nobody can touch your 'pagina.' "
She's insanely smart and a budding smart ass. Sample conversation after buying her a strawberry lemonade from the place with the arches, as I was singing in the car: Rowan "daddy stop singing, you're interrupting me" Me: "what are you talking about?" Rowan: "you're interrupting my time with the strawberry lemonade" I died.
One reason I'm telling you all about them is because the start of Kindergarten and Junior High marks a milestone in our family and that's worth bragging about.
The other reason, and to me the most important is that these two girls and my beautiful wife Nicole are the people I love the most and because I do, I will fight the War on Women with everything I've got. Today the House GOP tried AGAIN to expand anti-abortion legislation. The Congress elected in 2010 to provide jobs jobs jobs has jobbed all of those who were duped into voting for them.
Lawsuits against the Arizona abortion law which outlaws abortion after the 20th week have been struck down. Lawsuits filed under specious circumstances like Hercules are going forward regarding birth control. Apparently the fact that the birth control issue was argued and resolved before I was born has been lost on a certain segment of our population.
It is imperative that we as progressives support the push back against the GOP's War on Women. Support causes like TeamUterati. Support progressive candidates. Support anyone and everyone who wants to see women continue to be treated as the should be: complete equals in every sense.
As I recently told friends on Twitter, I want my girls to tell their kids about this War on Women and laugh about the antiquated notion that women are less then men. I pretty sure they will, because well, they're both amazing girls.
Monday, July 23, 2012
One Hundred Six Thousand
On September 1st, one hundred six thousand people will be streaming into Beaver Stadium in Happy Valley PA. If the split in the crowd between men and women is 50/50 that means that 12,500 women and 8300 men will be former or perhaps current victims of child sexual abuse.
I want you to think about that: 1 in 4 women, 1 in 6 men.
Today's NCAA sanctions against Penn State are appropriately severe, but I can't help but wonder about the people who will go to those home games. Almost 21000 people attending are most likely the victims of someone very much like Jerry Sandusky.
The crimes that Sandusky was convicted of are some of the most heinous imaginable. I don't have to imagine because it's something me and my colleagues deal with daily. The pain that the victims suffered both physical and emotional is fathomless. The victims and their families will never be completely healed.
Against this backdrop of evil and pain, a number of people were valiant in their efforts in reporting today. Desmond Howard was particularly brilliant on ESPN. He stated "Remember the victims and don't just remember them, think about them every day. They were victims because they had no choice. They had no chance against a burly football coach victimizing them." "These current players aren't victims. They have a choice, they can leave." "Unlike the real victims, they can walk away"
I don't know if the NCAA sanctions will cause a culture change at Penn State or any other college. I do know that 12 men, and probably many more don't care about culture changes, or cover ups. They do care about healing and being as normal as they can be.
This has ALWAYS been about the victims.
On September 1st, one hundred six thousand people as well as the rest of us would do well to remember that.
I want you to think about that: 1 in 4 women, 1 in 6 men.
Today's NCAA sanctions against Penn State are appropriately severe, but I can't help but wonder about the people who will go to those home games. Almost 21000 people attending are most likely the victims of someone very much like Jerry Sandusky.
The crimes that Sandusky was convicted of are some of the most heinous imaginable. I don't have to imagine because it's something me and my colleagues deal with daily. The pain that the victims suffered both physical and emotional is fathomless. The victims and their families will never be completely healed.
Against this backdrop of evil and pain, a number of people were valiant in their efforts in reporting today. Desmond Howard was particularly brilliant on ESPN. He stated "Remember the victims and don't just remember them, think about them every day. They were victims because they had no choice. They had no chance against a burly football coach victimizing them." "These current players aren't victims. They have a choice, they can leave." "Unlike the real victims, they can walk away"
I don't know if the NCAA sanctions will cause a culture change at Penn State or any other college. I do know that 12 men, and probably many more don't care about culture changes, or cover ups. They do care about healing and being as normal as they can be.
This has ALWAYS been about the victims.
On September 1st, one hundred six thousand people as well as the rest of us would do well to remember that.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)