Why I'm Fighting

I want to take a few minutes to tell you about two amazing girls.  On Friday, one starts Junior High and one starts Kindergarten.  One of them is a 12 year old wild child and one of them is a 5 year old that I think plans on taking over the world a la Pinky and the Brain. These two girls are my daughters Bailee and Rowan.  Call my a braggart, or a blatherskite, if you will, but also call me a proud father.

Bailee doesn't begin to know what a terrific kid she is.  She's outgoing, funny and smart.  She's a scatter brain sometimes and she's an artiste.  To my ever loving chagrin, the piles of clothes in her room never quite get picked up, but she really 'tries'.  She's a budding activist as evidenced by this:

She believes so strongly in combating the War on Women, that she asked for a Team Uterati Tee Shirt and Bitchfork necklace to support the cause.  I probably don't tell her enough that she inspires me but she does.

Then there's this one:

 
Rowan doesn't know everything... yet. She wanted a necklace because her sister has one, when we told her what it meant, she looked at me straight faced and said "Daddy, you always say, nobody can touch your 'pagina.' "

She's insanely smart and a budding smart ass.  Sample conversation after buying her a strawberry lemonade from the place with the arches, as I was singing in the car:  Rowan "daddy stop singing, you're interrupting me" Me: "what are you talking about?" Rowan: "you're interrupting my time with the strawberry lemonade"  I died.

One reason I'm telling you all about them is because the start of Kindergarten and Junior High marks a milestone in our family and that's worth bragging about.

The other reason, and to me the most important is that these two girls and my beautiful wife Nicole are the people I love the most and because I do, I will fight the War on Women with everything I've got.  Today the House GOP tried AGAIN to expand anti-abortion legislation.  The Congress elected in 2010 to provide jobs jobs jobs has jobbed all of those who were duped into voting for them.  

Lawsuits against the Arizona abortion law which outlaws abortion after the 20th week have been struck down.  Lawsuits filed under specious circumstances like Hercules are going forward regarding birth control.  Apparently the fact that the birth control issue was argued and resolved before I was born has been lost on a certain segment of our population.

It is imperative that we as progressives support the push back against the GOP's War on Women.  Support causes like TeamUterati.  Support progressive candidates.  Support anyone and everyone who wants to see women continue to be treated as the should be: complete equals in every sense.

As I recently told friends on Twitter, I want my girls to tell their kids about this War on Women and laugh about the antiquated notion that women are less then men.  I pretty sure they will, because  well, they're both  amazing girls.

One Hundred Six Thousand

On September 1st, one hundred six thousand people will be streaming into Beaver Stadium in Happy Valley PA. If the split in the crowd between men and women is 50/50 that means that 12,500 women and 8300 men will be former or perhaps current victims of child sexual abuse.

I want you to think about that: 1 in 4 women, 1 in 6 men.

Today's NCAA sanctions against Penn State are appropriately severe, but I can't help but wonder about the people who will go to those home games.  Almost 21000 people attending are most likely the victims of someone very much like Jerry Sandusky.

The crimes that Sandusky was convicted of are some of the most heinous imaginable.  I don't have to imagine because it's something me and my colleagues deal with daily.  The pain that the victims suffered both physical and emotional is fathomless.  The victims and their families will never be completely healed.  


Against this backdrop of evil and pain, a number of people were valiant in their efforts in reporting today.  Desmond Howard was particularly brilliant on ESPN.  He stated "Remember the victims and don't just remember them, think about them every day. They were victims because they had no choice. They had no chance against a burly football coach victimizing them."  "These current players aren't victims.  They have a choice, they can leave."  "Unlike the real victims, they can walk away"


I don't know if the NCAA sanctions will cause a culture change at Penn State or any other college.  I do know that 12 men, and probably many more don't care about culture changes, or cover ups.  They do care about healing and being as normal as they can be. 


This has ALWAYS been about the victims.  


On September 1st, one hundred six thousand people as well as the rest of us would do well to remember that.

The Truth was Set Freeh

With today's release of the Freeh Report available here on 670TheScore's Website , on the Penn State Child Rape scandal there is closure for a number of people.  As one of the people out in front of the case, there's no small amount of vindication for me and many others like Dan  Bernstein and Terry Boers at the Score, Dan Wetzel at Yahoo! Sports, Gregg Doyel at CBSSportsline and Chez Pazienzza at DeusExMalcontent.

In this case, however, I take no pleasure in being right. In fact quite the opposite, I wish I had been wrong.  Had I been wrong, it would have meant that at least 10 boys weren't brutally raped and thrown away.  Had I been wrong a venerable football coach and institution wouldn't have covered up such a heinous crime.  Had I been wrong, any number of "great men and citizens" would not be running around apologizing for the coach and the institution. Had I been wrong, a charity that was a harvesting ground of victims, would have been doing good works and truly helping those kids.

It was revealed today in  the Freeh report that Penn State, including Paterno, Curley, Schultz and Spanier, consistently put the fear of lawsuits and the image of Penn State in front of the needs of the children that Sandusky raped.  Paterno has been outed as a liar, a manipulator and a man of no character or integrity.   Curley, Schultz and Spanier are the quisling sycophants who did his bidding.

This entire sordid story of the cover up reminds me not so much of a Greek tragedy, but of a very modern American problem, organized crime.  The parallels are eerily similar.  At Penn State you had the godfather in Paterno who was viewed by many as a kind and benevolent man, giving time and money to charities and the arts.  John Gotti and Al Capone were patrons of the arts too.  While Paterno's capo's weren't killing people they were helping kill the childhood of young boys.

Even with the revelations today, some are still defending Paterno.  Most of these people are former players such as Matt Millen who rhetorically asked "Does one mistake outweigh 50 years of good?"  Yes Matt it does. This wasn't one mistake, this was a massive cover-up.  Just because Paterno came off as a doddering old buffoon doesn't mean  that he was.

I'm reminded of a classic Saturday Night Live Skit.  Phil Hartman played a doddering Ronald Reagan to the cameras and as soon as the cameras were gone he was the field general orchestrating Iran Contra. To me, Paterno was exactly the same.  He was the organ grinder while he made the monkeys dance.

Another defender of Paterno, Lavar Arrington said that Paterno and Penn State had molded great men in  the forge of the football program.  Great men would have taken a stand against Penn State and Paterno. Calling both out as frauds would, to me, have been an indicator of greatness.

No, the only great men in this case are the victims who came forward, testified and won.  They had the courage, the depth of character and fortitude to withstand horrific abuse and tell the world about it.  If Penn State and Paterno had shown any of the character that was shown by Sandusky's victims, this would have stopped in 1998 if not sooner.

As I said in the open, there is closure for a great many people today.  Unfortunately this isn't the end of child rape, nor is the end of secrets.  I wish I was wrong, but I know I'm not.

Thanks Mr. President

Dear President Obama,

Two years ago today, my mom passed away from colon cancer.  Her name was Laurel and she was a wonderful mother to me and my sister, a wonderful wife to my dad and wonderful friend to almost every one she met.   She voted for you, saying, “I like that young man”.  That sir was high praise indeed. 

I’m telling you about her because today the Supreme Court upheld the Affordable Care Act that you championed,  insuring that millions of Americans like my mom will get health care they need and can afford. 

You see, Mom didn’t seek medical care when she had some symptoms a full five years before diagnosis.  She simply couldn’t afford the co-pays and testing, even with Medicare and Medicare supplemental insurance.  Co-pays for office visits with specialists were two hundred dollars, some treatments she needed weren’t covered at all and were out of pocket.  Near the end she and Dad were forced to move out of their home and move in with my sister and brother in law. 

As a retiree on fixed income, she waited until she had no choice.  Her doctors and surgeons did what they could, but time ran out. 

It is my fervent belief that the Affordable Care Act will help prevent people like my mom from waiting for care due to costs.  I hope that going forward even broader changes to health care can be enacted. 

For now I just want to say thank you.  Thanks for supporting this law helping out people who truly need it.   Thanks for helping  my daughters ages 11 and 5 grow up in a country that recognizes that providing care for our sick is the human and humane thing to do.

Somewhere my mom is happy that she voted for “that young man”. She was right about you.

Sincerely,

Patrick Perion (@QuadCityPat)

Sandusky's Victims, How Many Are There.

I've been approached by several people on Twitter and email asking for information about how many boys Jerry Sandusky actually molested.  I've also been asked about the age at which predators start preying on children.  We know that he was found guilty of sexually abusing and raping 10 boys.  There are a lot more.  

First some general statistics.  Latest national data on sexual abuse of children shows that 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 10 boys report abuse.  Approximately 1 in 6 boys are actually abused.  We also know that in general serial sexual abusers abuse an average of 117 children.  Those are scary numbers.

In Sandusky's particular case, I suspect that he started the serial child rape when he was between 16 and 18.  This is a guess, but it's one educated by 18 years of dealing with the Jerry Sanduskys of the world.

Serial child rape as with adult rape is about power and control.  We know from the Sandusky trial that all of his victims were between the ages of 10 and 15.  Due to this it can be surmised that Sandusky was between 16 and 18 when the serial nature of his abuse started.  In order to gain power and control, at those ages predators are generally bigger and stronger than their prey.

I pointedly stated that the serial nature of his predation probably started when he was in his late teens.  It's entirely possible that his first sexual assault of someone else happened earlier in life.  I've dealt with predators that have stated that they first abused a younger child when they were 7 or 8.

It should also be pointed out that Sandusky may not have been the victim of child rape himself.  Prison studies of serial child rapists show that a higher percentage of convicted child rapists say they were severely physically abused as children.  Many of them were sexually assaulted, but in most major studies, they claim either sexual or physical abuse, hardly ever claiming both.

Later in life Sandusky used the Second Mile charity and his status at Penn State to cultivate his prey and keep them silent after he brutalized them.  Judging again by the trial records, he abused two boys a year.  Simple math shows that his total in fifty years would be a hundred boys.  However when you factor in the under reporting of male victims those two boys per year may have been as many as four or five. Making the total as high as two hundred to two hundred fifty.

In this case, bet the over.

Sandusky: The Verdict

Wow, what a day.  Before I get to my final thoughts, I have a few thank yous.  First my wife Nicole and my girls, coming home to the three of you makes my job doable, I love the three of you more than I can say.  Adam Hoge at The Score for asking me to do this blog and his bosses for letting it happen.   Dan Bernstein and Terry Boers for promoting the blog during their show, and for putting up with me when I'm AKA Quad City Pat. Finally to you the Score listener, reader and commenter, I'm happy that I could shed some light on a dark corner of humanity for you.

Now my thoughts:

In child sexual abuse trials, there is really no substitute for hearing "guilty" as each charge is read.  The victims are vindicated, the abuser is brought to justice. The prosecution gloats a little.  The defense backpedals.  Everyone on the side of right feels good.

What happens now?

First and most importantly, every one of the victims must get into counseling to work through their issues.  Many already have, but they all need it.

At one point early in my career I had no idea what sexual trauma did to victims.  22 years ago, I was driving a female victim of sexual abuse in a stick shift pick up, to a visit with her family.  She was uncomfortable with sitting in the middle seat where the shifter was.  I thought she was being dramatic. I was an idiot.

I've quoted these stats before, 1 in 6 girls have been sexually abused. 1 in 10 boys.  Sexual abuse is horribly under reported.

Please educate your children.  If they have a secret, if someone tells them a "bad" secret, tell an adult.  If an adult asks them to do something that they think is icky tell another adult.

I don't know what will happen with Penn State and Sandusky.  There may be more charges.  There may be appeals.  There will be civil suits.  Frankly I don't care, these men came forward to tell the world about the unthinkable and they won. That's enough for now.

Sandusky Trial Day 9

Waiting sucks. That's what I have heard from every victim and every family that I've ever sat through a trial with.  

In most sex abuse cases that I have worked there is no trial.  There's a disclosure, there's a confession or enough corroboration that we need no confession.  The perp is charged.  They always plead not guilty at preliminary hearing, then the negotiations start.

The defense gets a copy of all of our evidence.  The advent and use of Children's Advocacy Centers has been invaluable in these cases, because we turn over the taped interviews as part of evidence.  The defense gets a look at a credible kid, and decides that they want to try for a plea deal.  Once in a while, they decide to take it to trial.

After overwhelming evidence is presented.  After victims give tearful heart wrenching testimony.  After people like myself get grilled on the stand because maybe we restated a victim's answer saying penis instead of wee wee.  After the closing arguments, charts, videos and timelines. After the judge reads the charges and the instructions, we wait.

Sometimes we wait for hours.  Sometimes its days.  Personal longest wait was 3 days.  Jury got the case on Friday, we got a verdict on Tuesday, they didn't work the weekend.  We won that one.  The shortest was 2 hours, we won that one too.  I had one a couple of years ago, multiple victims, unrelated to each other with varying degrees of abuse.  Seemed like a slam dunk.  Jury out for 6 hours on 12 counts.  Not guilty.  Turns out one of the jurors was a teacher, and she just "knew" that kids make things up.

You learn to force a smile in front of the families.  You never say you have a doubt. You always tell them that they did great.  You always  tell them not to worry.

You always tell them, waiting sucks....